Bonds

Bonds are the most powerful forces, as they determine your place in this world; especially with the people you are associated with. There are many bonds that clothe our society, ranging from the bond we have with family to the bond we have with our friends.

Bonds have even brought forth many communities, both in a religious and social manner; I for one have had the honor to experience both sides. In both environments, the only fact that was common was that nothing is forever permanent.

At a point of my life I thought I was meant for the convent because of the horrors I had faced. For a small time I thought I belonged, yet it was just a mirage, a dream; nothing more. The convent, a place where I thought I would be safe became the place I dreaded. Being with-held from food and from water was the least of my enduring tasks. What saddened me the most was that I was alone, so alone that my own eyes would cry without any sensation.

I began to feel more away from humanity and thus I found refuge in my religion, through the life of the Saints and finding and realizing of my parents in heaven…..I became more accustomed then to call Jesus my father and Mother Mary my mother. Whatever difficulty I faced, I would turn to them; when I wasn’t given anything to eat or drink, I would turn to them even in the cold nights, I always ended up turning to them. I felt more love and acceptance from them, than from others that walked the earth.

However my religious life came to an end, I was back in to the social world. I became quite an outcast, since I didn’t know how to communicate. In time I did learn of what the social world was about and I even had the opportunity to fall in love blindly. The only issue was that I was being naive all the time, seeing everyone as a good soul…not seeing the dark side of humanity. I realized that at a very late stage, being used in many aspects to please and satisfy others; chained and bound by threat, even being held at knife point.

I grew up in terms of being mature very late and it was because I thought the world had some good in it, but I see it doesn’t quite exist. In my life the bonds I made were not of permanent keeping, mainly because they were bad choices even towards my love life, I made the wrong choice thus breaking off the bond I had with my ex.

However recently, I thought I found a bond that I would do my best to not severe. The bond with the special person I had met was easily formed that I thought I was dreaming; for I felt deep down that it was quite special and I didn’t want it broken. But, things don’t go in one’s way no matter who much it is desired deeply. I wasn’t honest or faithful and my actions caused the bond to sever, leaving me in square one again.

At a point it would seem that I tell this, because I wish to be shown sympathy, but the truth of me saying it is because, I do not wish for others to have to walk through the path I am walking especially one that is the result of the wrong choices. It is true at a point in life people change and that can lead to some bonds either being broken or be more than what it was before…..either way through what I have learnt, a bond is special.

A bond is special regardless of the person you share it with, for that person wants what is best for you; he or she will be there during your dark days; he or she would always stand by you and watch over you. Having that special someone is irreplaceable, and I know this for a fact for I have seen it but unfortunately through my mistakes, I severed the bond and lost that special person.

From what I know, the word ‘bonds’ doesn’t mean the connections you have with others, it is more of a deep sensation or feeling that remains too precious to have one’s heart filled with life again. I made many mistakes but I hope that regardless, others who either read this or not would continue to live life along with those who they share their special bonds with…..